Your subconscious mind has one function in your life. It is to protect you from failure and embarrassment. In order to accomplish this mission, your subconscious mind collects your experiences and files them for recall when needed. When your subconscious mind comes to a decision point – do this or don’t do this – it will compare your experience history and determine if there is a chance of failure or embarrassment. If there is, then your subconscious will prevent you from doing it. It does not want you hurt.
Your subconscious mind contains your self-image. Your self-image is how you see yourself – physically, emotionally, mentally, emotionally, etc. It is also what you think others see you. It includes your personality, how much you like yourself, plus the intangible feeling of how you think others see you and what they think of you. Self-esteem is how you feel, see or think you see about yourself.
Everything you do is done based on how you see yourself. Your behavior towards others comes from your self-image. How you think comes from your self-image. How you relate to others comes from your self-image. The experiences accumulated over your life develop, maintain and reinforce your self-image. If you accumulate more negative experiences compared to positive experiences, then you will develop a negative self-image of yourself.
Your self-image is very resistant to change. It will accept a little more reinforcement from continual negative or positive influences and experiences. Your self-image will not change based on a few events in your life. It took you years and thousands of experiences to get your self-image to its current state.
A poor or negative self-image is a breeding ground for a victim mentality. A victim mentality is one where everything that happens to you is negative and it is always someone else’s fault. You never earned or deserved those bad things that always happened to you. Victims blame others and don’t take responsibility. A victim mindset is a destructive mindset. You allow others to control you.
In 1946, Viktor Frankl wrote Man’s Search for Meaning. It was about his experience in a concentration camp during World War II. He observed how other prisoners reacted to the trials and tribulations of forced labor, starvation, cruelty, death, etc. People reacted differently. Many gave up and died because they blamed the Nazis for their hardship, fear, and pain. Others survived experiencing equal and worse conditions. Over time, Viktor Frankl postulated that the survivors chose freedom of choice – not blame – even when they were suffering the most.
You can choose to respond to any set of circumstances. It is your attitude. Your attitude comes from your self-image. If you blame others, then you have no control. If you accept responsibility for your actions, then you choose how you will react to the situations and circumstance that you envelop you. If you blame others, then you cannot change the things around you. If you are responsible for what you do, then you are in control, regardless of the circumstances.
Can you change a victim mindset to a victor mindset? Yes! Again, it doesn’t happen overnight, but it can happen. As mentioned earlier, the first thing to do is to accept responsibility for everything that happens to you. Do not blame others. Remain in control; do not give up this valuable power. Start converting the negativity in your life to positivity. Focus on positive things. Avoid negative people and things. Compliment others for the good things they are doing.
Make physical changes in your life. Dress better, exercise, eat better, read positive and inspiring books, listen to positive music, avoid television, etc. Consider self-hypnosis as a way to change your self-image and build your self-esteem. Lighten up a lot and accept constructive criticism. It is imperative if you really want to change.
Strive for permanent change, not a temporary band-aid that feels good today but will expire in a few weeks. Change requires continual attention. To go from a victim mindset to a victor mindset you have to know what a victim mindset involves and don’t do those things. Find out what a victor mindset contains and do those things all the time. You will start replacing the negative failure experiences accumulated in your life with positive and successful experiences.
Daily repetition is required – develop a never give up mentality (like every winner has).